Startle Leading To Favourite Fantasy
The Guv'nor
problem occurred because of their remarkable ability to create documents
that are open to interpretation. This matter has now not only been
resolved, but gave rise to a "startle", that in turn allowed me to
contemplate one of my favourite scenarios.
There is nothing I enjoy more than taking on a company that has stuffed
myself or my clients around - either online or offline. Having first hand
knowledge, experience and understanding of how businesses think and
operate - especially at decision or policy making level, is a big
advantage. If you know the ropes, it doesn't take too much effort to find
out who the right people are, or be put in touch with them. In this case
I went through to the head of the department.
She started quite well, but when she realised she was fighting a losing
battle, she lost it and became flippant. Instead of pacifying an
aggrieved customer, her action had the effect of getting right up my
hooter. Bad mistake.
Within 48 hours, two government agencies had contacted the ISP and asked
them to explain their practices. One of these, is considering taking
action under the Trades Practices Act. The General Manager then phoned me
to apologise for the "misunderstanding". Amongst other things, she
assured me those concerned would face appropriate disciplinary action,
(which more than likely would be a reprimand).
It was those two words that stirred my imagination. Disciplinary Action -
how sweet they sound.
The situation had been resolved to my satisfaction, so I light heartedly
remarked, that in Nigeria, a Public Service official had been caned by
his boss for inefficiency, (I did not mention the severity). This caused
her to giggle and remark, "Oh we wouldn't do that, they might enjoy it".
The scenario flickered onto the mental film screen situated somewhere in
the void between my left and right lugholes. Fade to the Departmental
Head, bent ignominiously across her own desk, black business skirt pulled
above her waist, and an irated middle aged customer, with a spare tyre
but little spare hair, flexing a cane saying, "Don't try screwing the
Guv'nor". Of course the statement, "Don't try screwing the Guv'nor"
could be misinterpreted, and any chance of complete customer satisfaction
would go out the window. Maybe just as well; I might fail her Quality
Control standards and be told "Invalid Entry " and "Please Try Again
Later (preferably when you are not so knackered)"
The camera now focuses on an open plan office. Her staff would be aware
of what was happening, their thoughts focused on what was unfolding
behind closed doors. Letters would be addressed to "Drea Rm Msthi". Phone
callers would be greeted by, "Good Morning, Mandy speaking, how may I
cane you?". Knowing glances would be flashed across the room, wry smiles
exchanged at the coffee machine. Eyes glancing towards the office door.
Everyone wishing they were a fly on the wall, to see how the knickers of
the mighty had fallen.
Excuse me, I have to write a letter.
Dear Minister For Consumer Affairs, I have a suggestion to make.
Mike
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and
consciencious stupidity."
-Martin Luther King, Jr
ILSA LASLOW
Oh, too funny. I wonder what led her to say that the employees might enjoy
getting caned?
Fantasy material if ever I heard it. I am glad you have a new ISP now.
ILSA LASLOW
jkl...@webtv.net
Mike,
LOL!! That was great! Not only did you get things settled but you got
a nice little charge out of it. Maybe you should send her a thank you
letter. <BG>
Jen
Laserlynx
Remind me to NEVER offer to be part of a company that services yours! :)
Yikes! Blood thirsty wretch, you are...
Um, but IF (I'm only saying IF, mind you( such disciplinary action were
warranted agqainst my company, then I would suggest...
AFTER HOURS, please! or should I say:
Pretty Please?
heheheheh,
Courtney
ssp...@webtv.net
positive results. Keep up the good work, babe :-) !!
Spark
P&E
The Guv'nor
"ILSA LASLOW" <ilsal...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010118133630...@ng-mp1.aol.com...
> Dear Mike,
>
> Oh, too funny. I wonder what led her to say that the employees might
enjoy
> getting caned?
You raise an interesting point. Firstly, I speak only from personal
experience within a specific environment - namely the Australian business
environment. I am not suggesting that my experience would be
geographicaly or professionaly, the norm.
Had I made the same remark to others, most would have given a similar
response. A few months ago I posted a startle concerning a clothes shop
that displayed posters of a bare bottom, (jeans pulled down), and the
word "Spank" and "Spanking the GST", emblazoned across the buttocks.
Another poster made the remark that people in advertising, promotion, PR
etc, seem to display a high level of awareness of our particular
lifestyle.
Not only do I find that to be true, but the level of familiarity seems
greater amongst females. If someone makes a mistake, it is not uncommon
to hear someone say, "I need my wrists smacked" or "someone needs a rap
over the knuckles". Even the remark, "you/me/they.. need a smack" is
light heartedly said in the pot planted, open plan, personal work station
world of which I speak. Invariably, such things would be said by a
female. I believe I know the reason why it is more common amongst
females, but for now I will side step that issue.
Have you ever noticed, that phrases like, "good smacked bottom" will
frequently evoke a grin or giggle? Although not totaly correct, I compare
it to the old Britsh comic book mindset.
More than once I have heard a female staff member say, "mum would have
taken the feather duster to me" - a feather duster being a traditional
instrument of correction in Australia. The reaction is not normaly one of
outrage, but of amusement.
I remember one client had an employee whose inefficiency was a cause for
concern. To be blunt, she was bloody lazy. One has to be careful in
workplace relations, so I followed common procedure and suggested that
she "needed counselling". I actually believed she shoud be sacked on the
spot, but to do so would be akin to walking backwards through a minefield
at night, after ten cans of Fosters.
One lady who was regarded as the "mother figure" of the office, (no
offence is intended, that is what the predominantly female staff called
her), suggested that "what she needs is a taste of the feather duster". I
was the only male present, and all of us laughed.
Another point crosses my mind. The increasingly frequent use of, "brand
spanking new" in advertisements or descriptions.
If you doubt what I say Ilsa, come and work in Sydney and I will
personaly help you to become acquainted with this phenomenon.
Mike
p&e